It is with true sadness and, indeed, regret, that I share the following news with you. I don't mean to be too personal in what I share on my blog, but as my relationships with people here have become such an important aspect of my time in Gambia, it's only right that I offer a tribute of sorts to my good friend Bembanding.
On the morning of the 1st of April (April Fools), Saikou Ceesay, my host brother, woke me up with the news that one of my closest friends here in Gambia, Bemdanding Jimbara, lost his life that previous Monday night. Bembanding had left Gambia mid November to pursue the "back way" (illegal immigration) to Italy with one of his uncles.
I knew for quite some time that he was planning to go, and guys my age from this area leave each year pursuing the back way. So, when he left I didn't encourage it, of course, but I also know it's their own form of the "American Dream" per se, pursuing wealth and stability to support their families.
Even after he left we still communicated on a fairly regular basis, as he would try to call me once a week or so with updates of where he was at in his "back way" journey. He was a great friend of mine, and a relative to my host family. (Lawo and Saikou's cousin)
In the end, as he and about 300 others were crossing the Mediterranean from Libya headed to Italy, the boats they were traveling in (think of large canoes) capsized and all but about 20 of the people traveling lost their lives.
Oddly enough, on Tuesday I had heard on BBC radio about the boats capsizing off the coast of Libya. Immediately my mind went to Bembanding, since I knew he had been waiting in Libya for some time, just waiting his turn to try to cross. So my worst fear came true Wednesday morning when his family received word (from other relatives in Libya) that Bembanding and his uncle were among those in the boats.
It's been a huge shock. I really didn't see it coming, and one could say I've had a hard time coping with his death. He was a very, very good friend of mine, and his loss has stirred quite a few emotions in me. Of course, I'm sad. I'm sad for his loss and sad for his family. I'm upset that this had to happen in the first place, that such a tragedy could happen to these guys risking their lives just trying to improve the lives of their families. And just disgusted that we live in a world so unfair, so unequal, that just a few years I was able to join my sister and a friend to enjoy a luxurious and fun cruise around the Mediterranean, even sailing from Libya to Italy, while Bembanding lost his life in a most horrific and terrifying way. It really just makes me sick to my stomach.
So this past Monday (April 6th) was the funeral. That day helped bring quite a bit of closure, one could say, as I was able to cry with his brothers and his mom. (his father passed away quite a few years ago) And these past few days (Thursday and Friday), I spent again just hanging out, spending time with his brothers. He was actually from a village other than Chargel, but not too far away. These past few days with his family was actually quite therapeutic, as we were all able to spend time just trying to move on in our own ways. Our conversations were able to move back to discussing what else is going on in our lives, and his mother and I were able to have some good conversations reminiscing about the good times he and I had together, instead of just grieving that he's gone.
To answer some questions you may have:
*No, his body was not returned to Gambia. I have no idea if it was even retrieved from the sea.
*The funeral was more of a prayer service, following Muslim tradition, since there was no actual burial.
*About 300 people were traveling in three boats. (like I said, think of large canoes) The people were from all over West Africa, and even some from Libya and Egypt. But about half of the people traveling were from Gambia. I keep learning of more and more villages around me that lost someone in the boats.
The loss of Bembanding has really shaken me up. But I truly do feel fortunate for my friendships here, and especially for my friendships back home. And really, I can say that if his loss has to shed a silver lining, then I can say that this experience has truly helped me re-focus somewhat, and gain a refreshed perspective of what is most important in my life, that being my faith, family and friends.
Bembanding is on the left (with the sunglasses).
Other than that, life in Chargel is going well. This time has actually helped me realize what good friends I have made here, and it has sunk in a bit deeper that this place really has become my life, my host family is like family to me, and I feel blessed for the relationships I've built.
So, to not end on a "downer," all things considered, I'm doing quite well. I'm healthy, safe and enjoying my time in Gambia. I certainly have much to be thankful for, and this Easter weekend is certainly an appropriate time to keep that in mind.
Until next time, take care.
